Dakwahforlife

Janji Allah itu pasti!

Ketukan-ketukan dari Allah October 25, 2010

Filed under: Muhasabah — dakwahforlife @ 1:57
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Assalamualaikum wbt.

Minggu ini ada perjumpaan besar dgn akhawat tercinta.

Arrived in the middle of pengisian dari ustaz. Although I didn’t hear from the begining, for the first time I wrote so much compare to any big ‘perjumpaan’ since I arrived in Malaysia. So many lesson to be thought when hearing what is presented from ustaz as being a murabbi/murabbiah.

What really stab in my heart is that, he told us the sacrifice that we as a murabbi/murabbiah is paid off when seeing our mutarabbi starts to realise and understand the true meaning of being a good muslim/muslimah and from the understanding, they tend to change to be a better muslim/muslimah. I guess any murabbi would feel so touched when see those changes. Cause I do feel that. Once upon a time.

As stated in the title, “ketukan-ketukan dari Allah”. As time goes by, I seems to feel what I’m doing through my daily life, is not being practice what I’ve learned throughout my 2-3 years of tarbiyyah. Feel so ashamed with every akhawats that I knew. The jahiliyyah that around me is so strong, and I’m weak to fought back. But then again, I could feel the strength from Allah that is trying to teach some lesson here.

I suppose to attend the big assembly today, but eventually I failed to fight back with my al-hawa. Therefore,the result I got a punishment from Allah. My parents found out about what shouldn’t happened to the car. I planned to fix it after my exam. But my parents found out earlier. Serve me right. Thank you Allah for this precious lesson.

I feel so ashamed to be Your slaves.

Most of my daily life I’m not thankful of all the wonderful Gift that You have gave to me since the day I was born.

A loving parents, who accept who I am although I still need to work harder to make them understand what I wanted in life.

A sister who thought many things to me although she is younger and more matured that me.

I feel I don’t deserved these wonderful Gift from You.

But I desperately need Your Guidance.

Please forgive and Guide Me!


 

Amal vs Iman October 13, 2010

Filed under: Keluhan Hati,Muhasabah — dakwahforlife @ 9:53
Tags: ,

It’s been ages since my last entries. Am I that too busy to wrote something here. I myself weren’t sure about this. One thing for sure, I’m not that busy of thinking the big issue. The ummah issue.

Lately been thinking and due to that been having migraine attacks in few weeks.  Been  thinking the problems that I’ve been facing since I return home.

I always remind myself to be strong and fight against myself to become a better person. But eventually, I failed… I lost a battle between me and myself. It’s true, to fight against ourself is never easy. Too tough to win this battle. Then again I set a niyyah not to this and that, up till today I failed everyday. (more…)

 

kesibukkan dunia yang menguji iman June 7, 2010

Filed under: Muhasabah — dakwahforlife @ 12:28
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Harini, saya dapat message dari senior saya yang working hours kat tempat keje di extend lg sejam. Which is from 9am to 8.30pm. Adddduuuuuhhhhh!!!!

Stressss!!!!

Semakin sukar jalan tarbiyyah ku. Ya Allah, permudahkanlah urusan hambaMu ini!

Bila dapat sahaja message tu, terus call collegue yang agak rapat dengan saya who is also semi-senior in the audit department. Macam2 dia cerita. As always, saya cuba memahami apa yang hendak dia sampaikan. Dah la sekarang minggu exam utk ACCA.

Aku cuba menganalisa dan cuba bermuhasabah diri tapi rasa macam nk BUNUH orang jer. Ya Allah! Astagfirullah. Perasaan geram, marah dikerumuni dalam jiwa ku. Selama ini aku masih boleh lagi bersabar dan bersabar dengan mehnah yang aku rasai ini. Kadang2 aku gagal untuk mengawal emosi ku. Sungguh lemah diriku ini!!

Bila dah jadi macam ini, aku teringat kembali kenangan terindah bila mula di sentuh dengan tarbiyyah Allah from a special persons. Mengenangkan kembali usrahmates yang sekarang sedang bertarung di medan peperiksaan. Sungguh indah kenangan itu. Naqibah2 ku yang ku masih rindui walaupun mereka bukan lagi naqibah ku. Ada yang bakal mendirikan rumah tanggan tidak lama lagi. Waaaah, perasaan gembira kembali dirasai didalam jiwaku.

Baru semalam sempat pergi ke majlis walimah seorang ukhti yang pernah satu rumah dengan aku. She looks gorgeous in pink. sempat jumpa dua orang ukhti sudah lama tidak kutemui. Maklumla, jauh nun di dublin.huhu. Rinddduuunya melihat wajah mereka.

Bila ku pikir kembali apa yang telah ku lalui semenjak 2 tahun lepas. Penuh dengan kemanisan tarbiyyah dari Allah melalui tangan-tangan manusia. aaaaahhhhh indahnya ketika tidak banyak tanggungjawab. Bagaikan seorang bayi yang hanya menangis bila lapar atau dahaga.

Dan sekarang, banyaknya tanggungjawab. semakin dewasa semakin banyak tanggungjawab.adui!. Ni baru bujang, blum kahwin lg ^_^ Bulum tiba masanya agaknya utk diriku memikirkan utk “naik anak tangga”. Moga Allah permudahkan.

Tarbiyyah sendiri masih terpingga2, dah berangan2 nk ada anak usrah. Mungkin ini Allah ingin memberi pengajaran buat diri ku.

Satu yang ku merasa hairan. Di sebalik duggan menimpa diri, badan yang memang supper penat, tapi hati masih berbunga2. Mungkin inilah dikatakan tarbiyyah dari  Maha yang Esa!

 

Berita Gembira and yet… May 20, 2010

Filed under: Keluhan Hati — dakwahforlife @ 9:49
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Astagfirullah, it seems so long that I didn’t wrote anything here. The last entry was before I started working in Audit Firm. Now I’ve been working 4 months now. Alhamdulillah, still surviving although there will always be tears everyday.

Despite of my sadness that I faced right now, Allah send me too many good news from my beloved akhawats both in Ireland and United Kingdom. All 10 of my sweet ukhtis has passed their medical school with flying colours. Thank You Allah! Some of them will be getting married. For the sake of dakwah, I’m happy. But somehow I feel a little bit sad. Maybe it is because I’ve been quiet close with them. Feeling the emptiness in my heart.

Spoke to some of my sisters lately and I’ve told them what I feel regarding the news of my sweet sisters will be getting married. I guess, I was not the only who felt the same.

Been trying to contact one of my sisters that will be getting married soon(few days before my birthday). She seems so busy. Certain things I need to talk to her what I’ve been keeping in my heart for the past two years. Felt that there is a boundary between us. Could feel that boundary is getting bigger. I don’t what to do beside speak the truth with her. And I don’t want this boundaries getting bigger between us. Oh Allah, please forgive me

 

Protected: A new Begining!! April 7, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — dakwahforlife @ 12:08

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