Assalamualaikum wbt.
Minggu ini ada perjumpaan besar dgn akhawat tercinta.
Arrived in the middle of pengisian dari ustaz. Although I didn’t hear from the begining, for the first time I wrote so much compare to any big ‘perjumpaan’ since I arrived in Malaysia. So many lesson to be thought when hearing what is presented from ustaz as being a murabbi/murabbiah.
What really stab in my heart is that, he told us the sacrifice that we as a murabbi/murabbiah is paid off when seeing our mutarabbi starts to realise and understand the true meaning of being a good muslim/muslimah and from the understanding, they tend to change to be a better muslim/muslimah. I guess any murabbi would feel so touched when see those changes. Cause I do feel that. Once upon a time.
As stated in the title, “ketukan-ketukan dari Allah”. As time goes by, I seems to feel what I’m doing through my daily life, is not being practice what I’ve learned throughout my 2-3 years of tarbiyyah. Feel so ashamed with every akhawats that I knew. The jahiliyyah that around me is so strong, and I’m weak to fought back. But then again, I could feel the strength from Allah that is trying to teach some lesson here.
I suppose to attend the big assembly today, but eventually I failed to fight back with my al-hawa. Therefore,the result I got a punishment from Allah. My parents found out about what shouldn’t happened to the car. I planned to fix it after my exam. But my parents found out earlier. Serve me right. Thank you Allah for this precious lesson.
I feel so ashamed to be Your slaves.
Most of my daily life I’m not thankful of all the wonderful Gift that You have gave to me since the day I was born.
A loving parents, who accept who I am although I still need to work harder to make them understand what I wanted in life.
A sister who thought many things to me although she is younger and more matured that me.
I feel I don’t deserved these wonderful Gift from You.
But I desperately need Your Guidance.
Please forgive and Guide Me!

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